


five times in the bathroom

by stutteringpeach



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arya has a potty mouth, Bathroom Sex, Birthday Party, Christmas Party, F/M, Five Times, Gendry is a huge flirt, I’m resorting to writing AUs because the show is destroying my soul, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 10:29:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18826831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stutteringpeach/pseuds/stutteringpeach
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Arya and Gendry keep bumping into each other at weddings and parties and having sex in the bathroom and are like ‘whoops it happened again’.





	five times in the bathroom

Arya was not entirely sure how she ended up having sex with a Stormtrooper.

It probably had something to do with the six shots of tequila she’d had since she’d arrived at Theon and Yara’s house, but she could be wrong. She’d been so determined not to get wasted at this party. She had vowed that she would stick to one drink an hour, sipping water in between and avoiding Theon’s famous punch like the the plague. It had all gone to shit the moment she’d stepped over the threshold.

‘Fucking shots!’ Theon had cried from the depths of his lobster costume.

So that was how she came to be gripping the countertop in the kitchen in an effort to keep the room from spinning. Fancy dress parties were always a complete shit show and the Greyjoy’s annual Halloween bonanza was no different. Catwoman Sansa was off grinding somewhere between Renly and Loras who were dressed as extremely skimpy versions of Mario and Luigi. Jon was sat moodily in a corner brooding on how he’d allowed Sansa to force him into leather trousers like some porno version of Batman. Arya had seen Margaery flitting about as some sexy cat or rabbit or mouse or roadkill. Even Bran was in costume, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, having transformed his wheelchair into an electric chair. Meera was his prison guard. Some dude dressed as a Stormtrooper complete with full helmet and gun stomped into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the counter.

‘Stormtroopers aren’t scary.’

The Stormtrooper stopped and turned to her. ‘Oh yeah? Pretty sure no one else here looks scary, unless you count Theon in that ridiculous lobster costume.’

‘Yara’s dressed like the Little Mermaid. I think that’s pretty fucking terrifying.’

The Stormtrooper snorted. ‘Who are you supposed to be?’

Arya narrowed her eyes. She glanced down at her grey overalls and white vest and the gun over her shoulder. ‘Ripley.’

‘From ‘Alien’?’

‘Obviously.’

‘Well that’s not very scary either is it?’

Arya scoffed. ‘Are you kidding? She’s like the most badass character in the whole series. She’s not a sidekick, she’s aggressive and angry and she’s great at killing. How many women in science fiction get to be a fucking badass and not some whiny damsel in distress? The patriarchy is terrified. Take off your helmet. I feel like I’m talking to a fucking plastic doll,’ she snapped.

The Stormtrooper laughed and took his helmet off. She recognised him as one of Robb and Jon’s mates from uni.

‘Oh. It’s you.’

‘Jeez, try not to sound too pleased about it.’

‘Sorry,’ Arya said. ‘I’m drunk.’

He laughed at her, his blue eyes crinkling up at the sides. Arya’s stomach did some weird flippy thing. That’ll teach her to eat pizza from the dodgy place round the corner before mainlining tequila. ‘S’alright. I’m drunk too. Wanna do some shots?’

So yeah, it was probably the shots that found her pushed up against the door of Theon and Yara’s bathroom (which was surprisingly girly) making out with a dude in a fucking Stormtrooper costume. The hard plastic of his costume whacked her knees when he pressed into her particularly fervently. _That’ll bruise._

‘Ow, fuck, you are literally covered in plastic, this is the worst fucking costume ever. How the fuck do you take this off?’

* * *

  **Private WhatsApp Message: Pointy Things**

**Members: Jon Snow, Arya Stark**

**Arya Stark:** Hey bro. Saw the Dragon Bitch last night, did she catch you?

 **Jon Snow:** Unfortunately yes.

 **Arya Stark:** Aw crap. Sorry mate. The ghouls do tend to come out on Halloween. Btw didn’t she get the memo about it being fancy dress?

 **Jon Snow:** She was in fancy dress.

 **Arya Stark:** She was wearing a bikini.

 **Arya Stark:** So I think I bumped into one of your friends last night. Built like a skyscraper, dark hair, crammed his biceps into a Stormtrooper costume?

 **Jon Snow:** Gendry?

 **Arya Stark:** Ah yeah, that’s the one. Thanks.

 **Jon Snow:** Thanks for what?

 **Jon Snow:** Arya?

**_Arya Stark has left the conversation_ **

* * *

Uni Sports Christmas parties were notoriously messy. The fencing team had offered to host this year and Pod had kindly allowed his house to be trashed by approximately seventy drunk athletes from the fencing, rowing, volleyball and cheerleading teams. Arya was stood watching as some girl attempted to put her foot behind her head while doing some semblance of a keg stand. Theon was filming it all on his phone. _Now that’s a Christmas memory._

‘Hello again,’ said a deep voice in her ear. Arya whirled around to find herself staring up at Gendry, who was wearing a ridiculous Christmas jumper featuring an elf giving the middle finger. Arya raised her eyebrows.

‘That’s quite the ensemble.’

‘Just getting into the festive spirit,’ Gendry said with a grin. ‘I can see you’re feeling the same way.’

Arya glanced down at her all black outfit. ‘Very funny.’

‘Didn’t realise you were on one of the teams,’ Gendry said.

‘Fencing,’ Arya replied. She eyed his biceps. ‘Let me guess, cheerleading?’

He laughed. ‘As enticing as throwing girls in tiny skirts into the air sounds, no. I’m on the rowing team.’

 _That explains the arms_. ‘Well, this has been delightful but if you’ll excuse me I have to go put some pins into my eyeballs.’

‘Not so fast!’ Gendry caught her arm and spun her back to him. ‘Don’t I get a kiss under the mistletoe?’

Arya looked at his jumper. A wilted piece of greenery was pinned in a very inappropriate place.

‘Would you look at that. Mistletoe.’

‘Someone’s feeling a little ambitious,’ Arya said archly.

Gendry shrugged. ‘Christmas is a time for giving.’

Arya snorted.

‘Want to get a drink?’ he asked.

‘No shots.’

He grinned. ‘No shots.’

So maybe it hadn’t been the shots the first time after all because fifteen minutes later Arya once again found herself pinned up against the wall of the shower with a very naked Gendry between her thighs.

‘This can’t happen again,’ Arya hissed at him.

‘Whatever you say.’

‘I’m serious.’

‘Mmmhmm.’

‘Jon can’t find out.’

‘Yes m’lady.’ Gendry saluted with one hand and did something truly magnificent with his other.

Arya rolled her eyes hard and pulled him back down for another kiss.

_For fuck’s sake, not again._

* * *

The third time was at Margaery’s birthday party.

Arya was embroiled in a game of beer pong and she and Theon were thoroughly trashing Pod and Meera when she saw Gendry out of the corner of her eye. He was leaning up against a wall looking like a fucking snack, grinning down at some blonde girl Arya vaguely recognised from some of Margie’s previous parties. A cousin or something, but whatever. She didn’t give a fuck. The girl threw her head back and laughed, shaking her blonde hair and laying a hand on Gendry’s bicep and squeezing.

_Oh what the-_

‘Arya, you’re up!’ Theon’s voice jolted her out of her blonde bimbo induced rage. Gendry could talk to whoever he wanted. Even stupid skinny blonde bitches with big boobs and big hair. She didn’t fucking care.

Arya lined up her shot and missed spectacularly. In return Meera sunk the ball effortlessly into Arya’s cup. Arya swore before she picked up the cup and started chugging. When she lowered it and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she saw Gendry staring at her with an amused smile on his smug face. She scowled.

* * *

 She was peeing in the bathroom when there was a knock on the door.

‘Just a minute,’ she called. Whoever it was knocked again. She zipped up her pants and washed her hands. The incessant knocking continued.

‘Jesus Christ, I’m fucking peeing here!’ she screeched as she ripped the door open to find Gendry standing behind it, leaning against the door frame. His arms were crossed across his chest and Arya tried very hard to ignore the way his biceps bulged out of the sleeves of his shirt deliciously. ‘What do you want?’ she hissed.

‘Just the delightful pleasure of your company,’ he quipped lightly. He gave her an appraising look. ‘You look good.’

Arya scowled and crossed her arms. ‘I always look good.’

‘Heard you tanked beer pong. What happened? Thought you were the reigning champ around these parts.’

‘I got a little distracted.’

‘Oh? Distracted how?’ he teased.

‘Look, don’t you have someone else you can bother? Like some dumb blonde, for example?’

‘Are you jealous?’ he smirked. _Fuck him and his fucking smirk._

Arya scoffed. She grabbed him by the collar and yanked him into the bathroom as she stuck her hand down the front of his jeans.

‘Please shut up.’

* * *

 ‘Oh my God!’

Sansa was stood in the doorway, eyes as wide as Bambi, mouth hanging open in disbelief. ‘Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see anything!’ she cried, running out of the bathroom and slamming the door.

Gendry stilled his movements inside her and Arya whacked him over the head.

‘You didn’t lock the fucking door?’ Arya snarled.

‘Sorry, but I was a little preoccupied. You know. With your hand down my trousers.’

‘Oh my God, you literally have the brain the size of a pea.’

‘Yeah, but it’s not really the size of my brain that you want me for is it?’

‘This is the last fucking time, _I swear-’_

‘Yeah, alright. But you said that last time too.’

* * *

**Private WhatsApp Message: BROTP**

**Members: Jon Snow, Gendry Waters**

**Jon Snow:** Hey mate. Fancy a pint? I need to talk to you about something.

* * *

**Private WhatsApp Message: Sistahs are doing it for themselves**

**Members: Sansa Stark, Arya Stark**

**Arya Stark:** Fucking hell Sansa you told Jon???

 **Sansa Stark:** I’m sorry! I was in shock! It was a very traumatic experience! It just kinda slipped out!

 **Arya Stark:** OMG. You really do have a mouth like a sieve.

 **Sansa Stark:** I’M SORRY!!

 **Sansa Stark:** Look, at least it’s out in the open now. Jon and Gendry are really good friends, it’s probably good that they talk about, you know, what happened.

 **Sansa Stark:** And by what happened I mean Gendry banging his littlest sister in Margie’s bathroom.

 **Arya Stark:** Please explain to me how on earth this can be good?????

 **Sansa Stark:** Wait, how did you know I told Jon? Did Gendry tell you?

 **Arya Stark:** No

 **Sansa Stark:** He did, didn’t he!

 **Sansa Stark:** Does this mean you guys are talking? Does this mean it’s more than just a hook up at a party??

 **Sansa Stark:** Arya?

**_Arya Stark has left the conversation_ **

* * *

‘For a shotgun wedding it’s pretty fucking fancy.’

Arya was lounging at a table with Sansa and Margaery at Robb and Talisa’s wedding, drinking her fourth glass of champagne. Things were getting slightly fuzzy around the edges, which was just how she liked it. The grounds of the Stark house had been transformed into the scene of a fairy tale, with lanterns and lights scattered through the trees and the scent of flowers permeated the evening air. Arya thought it looked like the fairy godmother had vommed over their back garden. Robb and a very pregnant Talisa were twirling gracefully around the dance floor to a tasteful rendition of the Spice Girls ‘2 Become 1.’

‘How the hell did Robb get away with this song as their first dance?’ Margaery asked incredulously.

‘It’s Robb’s favourite song,’ Sansa replied. ‘He thinks it’s romantic.’

‘No offence because I know he’s your brother and all, but he’s an idiot.’

‘None taken,’ Arya answered as she downed the last of her champagne. The band invited the happy couple’s parents to join them on the dancefloor and Arya watched as her mum and dad started expertly waltzing around to the refrain of Baby Spice singing about how she needs some love like she’s never needed love before. Her eyes drifted over to the bar where Jon was stood chatting with Sam, Edd, Theon and Gendry.

‘Gendry looks hot,’ Sansa said casually.

Arya tried very hard to keep her face neutral. ‘It’s kinda hard to see what he looks like with the aura of wanker surrounding him.’

Margaery rolled her eyes. ‘Drop the act, Arya. We’ve all seen you two eye fucking each other for the past six months.’

‘That’s not all some of us have seen,’ Sansa muttered.

Before Arya could bite out a cutting remark in response Gendry had materialised in front of her.

‘Hi.'

‘Hi.’

‘Want to dance?’

Arya narrowed her eyes at him. ‘You’re asking me to slow dance to the Spice Girls? Are we in primary school?’

Gendry shrugged. ‘I’ll take what I can get.’ He offered his hand out to her. She stared at it for a moment, trying to ignore the way Sansa and Margaery’s eyes were bugging out of their heads.

‘Fine,’ she huffed. ‘But I don’t do fast songs.’

She took his hand and he led her out to the middle of the dancefloor. He pulled her arms around his neck and settled his hands easily on her waist. She was painfully aware of just how tall he was and just how little she was in comparison, despite the heels Sansa had forced her feet into this morning and how she could practically feel the heat radiating off him through the thin material of her bridesmaid’s dress.

‘See? It’s not so bad is it?’

‘The fucking worst,’ Arya growled.

Gendry proceeded to throw his head back and laugh. ‘You’re something else, Stark. A pain in my bloody arse. And I mean that in the nicest of possible ways.’

Arya wasn’t quite sure what to say to that.

‘Never thought I’d catch you in a dress this fancy,’ he said, quirking his eyebrow up at her. ‘You look positively radiant.’

Arya was silent. ‘Don’t do that.’

‘Do what?’

‘Say nice things to me in the hope that I’ll fuck you in the bathroom again.’

He had the audacity to grin. ‘Don’t worry, Stark, I know better than to try and charm you by showering you in compliments. Whatever works on most girls won’t work on you.’

Arya scoffed. ‘Most girls are morons.’

Gendry grinned at her. ‘Exactly.’

* * *

**WhatsApp Group: for the love of god keep it in your pants**

**Members: Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Gendry Waters**

**Jon Snow:** This is a message I really never thought I’d have to send and really, REALLY hoped I would never have to send to my mate and my little sister but Sansa and I have had a discussion and we would highly recommend you two look up the definition of discretion in a dictionary. It is 100% not appropriate for our little brother to walk in on you two having sex in the bathroom at a family wedding. Again. Whatever this is between you two you really need to work on keeping it in your pants at public events. I think I am being EXTREMELY lenient here considering you are my MATE AND MY LITTLE SISTER.

 **Gendry Waters:** Whoops

 **Jon Snow:** Whoops??? WHOOPS???

 **Arya Stark:** Oh grow up Jon, Rickon’s not a baby anymore. I caught him sending dick pics to Shireen Baratheon like two months ago.

 **Sansa Stark:** Isn’t that Gendry’s cousin?

 **Gendry Waters:** It must run in the family.

 **Sansa Stark:** Exhibitionism?

 **Gendry Waters:** Yes.

 **Jon Snow:** This is besides the point. Stop distracting me.

 **Sansa Stark:** What we’re saying is that if there is something going on between you two then we would encourage you to explore that properly. And by that we mean you should get together and stop having sex in bathrooms.

 **Jon Snow:** I don’t think this is unreasonable of us to ask.

 **Jon Snow:** Although I hate saying it.

 **Gendry Waters:** Fair point.

 **Jon Snow:** Arya?

 **Arya Stark:** We’ll consider it.

* * *

‘No. Arya, I am not having sex with you at your parents’ anniversary party.’

‘Come onnn. Just a little bit.’

‘A little bit of sex?’

‘Just the tip.’

‘Arya, your grandparents are literally at the next table. Not to mention your dad. And all four of your brothers.’

‘Don’t worry about them, I regularly threaten them all with death by disembowelment. Nothing to be scared of.’

‘Only you can make disembowelment sound hot. And I’m pretty sure that’s what will be happening to me if Robb finds out. For fuck’s sake, Arya, get your hand off my crotch!’

‘No one can see. There’s a tablecloth in the way.’

‘Oh fucking hell.’

‘Don’t make me drop my fork and go down there.’

‘ _Jesus_. Fine. I’ll meet you in the bathroom in ten minutes.’

* * *

**WhatsApp Group: WoLf CuBs**

**Members: Robb Stark, Talisa Stark, Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, Arya Stark, Brandon Stark, Rickon Stark**

**Sansa Stark:** Hey guys. Just a heads up, don’t go into the bathroom next to the kitchen.

 **Sansa Stark:** And maybe tell people it’s out of order.

 **Robb Stark:**???

 **Sansa Stark:** Just trust me.

 **Jon Snow:** Oh for fuck’s sake not again

 **Rickon Stark:** LOLOLOLOL Mum and Dad are gonna be pissed

 **Robb Stark:**???????

 **Sansa Stark:** They’re not going to be pissed, because they’re not going to find out. No one is going to tell them.

 **Robb Stark:** Tell them what??? Why is the bathroom out of use??

 **Talisa Stark:** Thanks for the heads up guys! The baby is pressing on my bladder like a bitch today. I’ll use the one upstairs.

 **Rickon Stark:** But it’ll be fun to see Dad have an aneurysm!

 **Sansa Stark:** Yes, but would you rather face Dad’s wrath or Arya’s?

 **Rickon Stark:** Fair point

 **Robb Stark:** Arya? What does Arya have to do with the bathroom??

 **Robb Stark:**??????

 **Brandon Stark:** Arya and Gendry are having sex in the bathroom.

 **Robb Stark:** WHAT

 **Arya Stark:** Gee thanks Bran.

 **Robb Stark:**!!!!!!!!!

 **Robb Stark:** ARYA STARK GET THE FUCK OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND EXPLAIN

 **Arya Stark:** Sorry Robb. I’m a little busy right now.

**_Arya Stark has left the conversation_ **

**Rickon Stark:** LMFAO

 **Robb Stark:** wHAT THE fuCK!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Sansa Stark:** Christ Robb, don’t get your knickers in a twist. She’s a consenting adult.

 **Sansa Stark:**...and Gendry’s pretty fine. I think she really likes him. She deserves some fun.

 **Robb Stark:** Wait, Jon. What do you mean ‘not again’?

**_Jon Snow has left the conversation_ **

**_Sansa Stark has left the conversation_ **

**_Brandon Stark has left the conversation_ **

**Rickon Stark:** LOLOLOLOLOL

**_Rickon Stark has left the conversation_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I had too much fun writing this. Prompt me on Tumblr @ stuttering-peach.tumblr.com/ask


End file.
